


Things I wish I never said

by Suitjacketsonfire



Category: Supernatural
Genre: College AU, Crying Dean, Happy Ending, Hurt Dean, Lies, M/M, Poor Dean, Roommate Benny, Rumors, benny comforts dean, dean sobs, fear of being cheated on, hurt cas, trickery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 04:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21229952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suitjacketsonfire/pseuds/Suitjacketsonfire
Summary: Cas was told that Dean would cheat on him and he makes some bad decisions.





	Things I wish I never said

“Dean’s gonna cheat on you, you know?” 

Cas tilted his head. He has been talking to Melissa for less than five minutes and she wants to suggest Dean will cheat on him? “I’m afraid I don’t know,” Cas responded gruffly. 

“It’s true. I’d feel awful if I let you walk away without warning you,” she said. She wasn’t smiling, she didn’t seem like she was pulling a prank on him. Cas got a lot of pranks pulled on him, in high school it was because he was weak. So he got stronger, in college it’s because he’s dating a man. A man that’s been previously thought of as straight.

“I’ve had people tell me before that Dean’s gonna leave me. They said that he’s just confused and he’s not actually gay. I talked to Dean about it, if that’s what you’re going to say to me I’d like to inform you that that’s not going to happen.”

“Oh darling,” she sighed. “I doubt doubt he’s gay. Or bi anyway, I doubt his loyalty. Dean’s not really the dating type. He’s a ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em type’. I don’t think he can stick with just one person, not for long anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Cas dropped his pissed off tone, picking at his fingers in nervousness. Dean wouldn’t do that to him. Right? But this lady... she seems to know. Somehow. “How do you know?”

“I know because he fucked me.” All the air got stuck in his throat, Dean already cheated on him? “Last year,” oh thank god “I asked him to be my boyfriend, he said no. He said he could never stick with just one person.” Melissa looked like she was going to cry.

People don’t cry when they play pranks. 

“Never?”

“That’s what he said. I don’t want to ruin this for you, I really don’t. I just want you to know, I don’t want your heart to be broken.”

It’s already broken.

“Hey, babe!” Cas flinched when he heard Dean calling for him. “You ready to head home? I’m exhausted.” Was it all just an act? Why would he do this?

Cas looked back at Melissa, she touched his arm and gave a light smile, walking away. “Okay, Dean.” He almost choked on his words.

Dean smiled at him and grabbed his hand to lead him out to Baby. Cas got in silently and spent the drive back to their dorm silent, it wasn’t really their dorm, it was Dean’s but Cas spent every night there. He was tempted to tell Dean he’d be spending the night at his own dorm but he didn’t think he could form the words and all of his things were at Dean’s.

He ignored Dean glancing at Cas every ten seconds. He didn’t want to talk. He wanted to think everything through. Figure out what he was going to do.

He hoped Dean would respect that, and he did. All the way until the door of the dorm was closed and locked behind them.

“Did she hurt you?” Dean asked quickly.

“Who? Melissa?”

“Yes, Melissa. You were happy before you started talking to her and when I came back you were - are- sad. What’s she do?”

“She didn’t do anything. We were just talking.” Cas snapped. He didn’t want to talk about this.

“Talking about what?”

“Nothing of import!” Cas almost yelled, walking away from Dean. He couldn’t look at him now. He couldn’t talk to him. He wanted to be left alone. He didn’t want to be with someone who was going to cheat on him eventually, if he hadn’t already.

Cas sat on the couch, back away from Dean.

“Well clearly it was something.”

“If it was something I wanted you to know, I’d tell you.”

There was silence for a while, but Cas didn’t risk turning around.

“It was about me wasn’t it?” Cas almost broke. Dean sounded so- so sad. “What’d she say about me? Did she say I was a dick? That I’m confused? That you’re too good for me? What was it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it Dean. I’d prefer if you left me alone.”

“Why do you believe her? Whatever she said, it isn’t true. Why do you believe her over me?”

“It isn’t true? She sure seemed to feel pretty passionately about it.”

“What was it?”

“It’s probably for the best if we broke up,” Cas couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. He wished he’d never have to say or hear those words around Dean, with Dean.

It was silent for a while. For a moment, Cas thought that Dean must not care. That he must’ve just been waiting for Cas to break things off this entire time, that he was happy.

That is, until he heard a faint sob. Cas has never seen Dean cry, nor has anyone else. The sound made Cas turn around.

Dean’s hands where covering his mouth trying to hold in the sobs and tears where spilling down his face uncontrollably. His legs were shaking and Cas was getting ready to take it all back.

“I’m sorry,” dean spoke through a sob. “I’m sorry, whatever I did, I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me, please, please, please, I’m sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry-“

“Dean. Dean, stop.” Cas had to make it stop. He couldn’t deal with it. He couldn’t listen to it. He could. But that only made dean cry harder.

“What did I do? I’ll fix it. I swear I’ll fix it. I’ll do better. I’ll start being cleaner, I’ll stop drinking, I’ll stop eating burgers, I’ll stop being a dick. I’ll be better. I’ll do anything. I’ll fix it.”

“Dean there’s nothing to fix,” Cas took one step forward and Dean crumbled to the ground.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-“ 

Cas dropped down to the floor with him he tried rubbing his back, he tried running his hand through his hair, he tried shushing him lightly, he tried everything to calm dean down. To stop the torture, but nothing was working.

“What the hell?!” Cas looked up to find Dean’s roommate and best friend, Benny, standing there. “Shit, Dean.”

Benny dropped everything in his hands and pulled Dean up into his arms in a giant hug. Dean continued to sob and chant into Benny’s shoulder. “It’s okay, brother.” Benny whispered. 

“Cas. Out. Come back tomorrow.” Cas knew that Benny didn’t know what Cas did, but Cas couldn’t leave. This was his fault. He did this. He caused this. 

“I can’t. This is my fault.”

“All the more reason for you to get the fuck out. See you tomorrow.” Benny growled.

Cas left.

——

“Brother, What the hell happened?”

“I-I- fucked up, Benny.”

“How’d you fuck up?”

“I don’t know.” Dean rubbed at his red eyes.

“Now, that don’t make no sense.”

“Cas broke up with me.”

“WHAT?”

“Cas- I did something wrong. I don’t know what I did. He was talking to Melissa. I don’t know what they talked about but he was upset with me after. He tried to walk away from me but I kept asking dumbass questions and he said it’d be best if we- if we broke up.”

“Imma kill him.”

“Benny, no.”

“Doesn’t that boy know how much you love him? How much you’d give for him? God, I feel like every other week he’s got a new reason to doubt it.”

“Ain’t nobody’s fault but mine.”

“I’ll be right back.”

“The hell you going?”

“Nowhere, brother. You stay here.”

——

Cas heard a knock at his door. The last thing he wanted was to answer it but with the small possibility that it might be Dean, Cas forced himself to get up and answer it.

“Wha-“ Cas didn’t get to finish before a fist collided with his face.

“You absolutely asshole!”

Benny. 

“Why the hell’d you break up with him,” Benny seemed to be revving up for another punch so Cas cut in while he could.

“It was a mistake! I shouldn’t have done it. I thought- I thought that Dean didn’t care about me. That he- he would cheat on me. I thought he didn’t love me so I said we should break up,” Cas looked down, tears rolling down his cheeks, “I know now it was stupid. I should have just asked him, I shouldn’t have believed Melissa.” Cas sighed, trying to pull himself together. “Is dean okay? Do you think I could talk to him?”

“He stopped crying if that’s what you mean. He still thinks he did something wrong, that he wasn’t good enough. He told me not to talk to you, but man, I just had to punch you for this one.”

“I’d punch me too,” Cas frowned.

“What’d Melissa tell you?”

“That they hooked up last year, that he told her that he could never be in a long-term relationship.”

“If that even happened I doubt that applies you you two, that was a year ago. Dean loves you, so much I might throw up. It wears on him, how much you doubt him.”

“I understand.”

“But,” Benny sighed. “I think you should talk to him. He loves you and you love him and I don’t think something as stupid and what an old fling has to say about it will tear you two apart. Not unless you let it.”

“Thank you, Benny.”

“And Cas?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t hurt him like that ever again.”

“Never.”

——

“Dean?”

Cas heard a small sob and doubted his decision to come here. Dean probably doesn’t want to see him. But he can’t walk away. Not when Dean is crying because of him on the other side of the door.

He was about to call out again when Dean swing the door out. “Cas?” Dean launched himself at Cas, latching his arms around his neck and pressing his face into his shoulder. “I’m sorry Cas, I know you don’t want me to touch you but oh my god I never thought I’d see you again.”

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and gently guided them into Dean’s room and closed to door behind him for more privacy.

“I’m so sorry, Dean.”

“The hell are you sorry for?” Dean’s muffled voice asked.

Cas presses a light kiss to Dean’s forehead, “I don’t want to break up.”

“Really?” Dean lifted his head to search Cas’ eyes for any trace of a lie. “You’re not just saying that because I’m a mess?”

“No, Dean. Melissa told me that you told her that you could never be in a long term relationship. I was dumb and I believed her without talking to you. I should never have ended our relationship because of that, I regretted it as soon as I saw your reaction, and not because I felt guilty, because I knew that Melissa was wrong. That I was wrong.”

“Cas...” Dean took a moment to gather his thoughts. “I never said that, not really anyway. She asked me to be her boyfriend, I said no, she asked me why and I said that relationships weren’t my thing, but what I really wanted to say was that I couldn’t date her because I had too big of a crush on you.”

“Even a year ago?” Cas believed him, he just never knew.

“Since I met you.”

“Me too, Dean.”

“Can we cuddle?”

“Does this mean you forgive me?”

“Of course, I was never mad.”

“I’m sorry dean.”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, I want to sleep the day away with you.”


End file.
